7 Stages Of Grief
by Peach-Swirls
Summary: It takes awhile to heal and there are a few stages you have to through along the way so you can survive and come out ok on the other side. B/C,N/V,S/A,S/D. Set after 2.13 with some 2.14 spoilers.


**I present to you, the reader, my latest fic. It's set after 2.13 and –WARNING- will feature spoilers from 2.14 but only from the preview and even then it defiantly won't include everything from the preview. Also it –SPOILER FOR 2.13- won't include Rufus and Lily's baby drama. It will focus on Blair and Chuck but lots of other characters will be throwing their hats into the ring. Aaron, Serena, Dan, Jenny, Vanessa and Nate to be specific.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl. If I did I wouldn't have to wait till March 5****th**** for a new ep and it would feature a lot more Blair and Chuck. **

_Stage One- Shock & Denial_

_You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks._

_~*~_

Aaron Rose wondered why he was so shocked.

Of course Serena had chosen him.

Just like he had chosen her over all the others.

It made perfect sense.

It didn't stop the strange shock.

Well, this trip was going to change everything. He and Serena would come back a stronger couple. They would be young and in love and she would inspire him even more.

And she wouldn't go running back to Dan.

No, she definitely wouldn't.

She was here with him, wasn't she?

Aaron had offered her an escape but she had chosen him.

Surely that meant she was over Dan Humphrey.

Surely.

Definitely.

She would be with him and Dan would just have to suck it up and take it like a man.

~*~

Serena Van Der Woodsen idly adjusted her bikini trying desperately not to think about a certain boy from Brooklyn.

Oops.

Too late.

Damn.

Not again.

It seemed Dan was the only thing her brain could truly compute.

Everything else just washed over her like a gentle wave.

She hardly even noticed it.

Her thoughts about Dan were like…

They were like tsunamis.

She had no choice but to notice them.

It was annoying.

And it was ruining her holiday.

She hardly remembered any of it.

And the parts she did remember?

It seemed like she was watching them as a movie.

She could hardly remember being there.

And not in a "I'm Serena the party girl, I drank sooo much, woops there goes another vase kinda way, I'm so not gonna remember this in the morning" kinda way.

It was in a "why didn't Dan fight harder, why am I still thing thinking about him, I like Aaron, right, and whoa my brain is way too crowded way" kinda way.

All the rest of her thoughts were kinda hazy.

Numbed.

But it didn't mean anything.

Nothing at all.

She was with Aaron now.

She just needed to clear her mind. A swim might do the trick.

As she meandered down to the bright, blue sea she desperately wished she could stop thinking about him.

As she dived under a wave and held her breath she pictured Aaron's face in her mind.

As she surfaced Aaron's face morphed into Dan's.

As she made her way back to shore she stopped trying to censor her thoughts.

And as she dried herself off she realized she really didn't want to not think about Dan.

~*~

Dan Humphrey was an idiot. He had let Serena Van Der Woodsen just fly off to Buenos Aires with Aaron. No fight, no pleas, no nothing.

He had hardly moved from his bed ever since Serena had left. He was so shocked, so shocked at his own behavior; it appeared his body had just broken down.

Interesting.

Of course it was easier this way. His body's numbness made it harder to dwell on his own idiocy. It was almost like his body was helping him, helping to forget his moments of stupidity hadn't occurred.

Of course Dan Humphrey knew better. He had read about the 7 stages of grief. He knew he was at the first stage. The shock stage. The denial stage.

It made sense if he really thought about it. Because he was in mourning. Not for a person. No, Dan Humphrey was in mourning for what could have been between him and Serena. But that relationship was broken. Broken just like the quietly thudding organ that lay in his chest.

He was hardly aware of what he was doing as he made his way over to the laptop sitting inconspicuously on his desk.

He was hardly aware of what he was doing as his fingers tapped away, the words flowing easily from his numbed mind onto the screen.

He was hardly aware of what he was doing as he opened his email and clicked compose.

He was hardly aware of what he was doing as sent away his story to the girl who had a starring role in it.

It was only after he realized what he had done.

"Dan Humphrey, you really are an idiot" he muttered quietly to himself.

~*~

Jenny Humphrey was trying to plot but her mind was blank.

After the snowflake ball the girls would be expecting something massive, earth shattering, just fantastic, from little J.

And little J planned to deliver.

She planned to deliver all that they expected and more.

She was going to bring it.

It was just hard to think at the moment.

Everyone around her was wrapped in their own personal tragedy, leaving Jenny to cope on her own.

Even her dad was distracted

But that was ok.

Jenny could do this by herself.

After all she had almost succeeded in taking over Blair's position of "Queen of Constance"

After all she had almost succeeded in starting her own fashion design business at the age of 15.

Almost.

But she wasn't going to fail this time.

If only she could get her mind to function as she needed.

First she just needed to stop dwelling on Nate. And how badly that had ended. And how Vanessa was with him.

Jenny wasn't mad at Vanessa anymore.

Really.

Truly.

Nate wasn't even that great.

He had man bangs for goodness sake.

And really, who played lacrosse?

And he had a really messed up family.

And he was best friends with Chuck Bass.

And he wasn't that smart.

Or that funny.

Or that handsome.

Or that caring.

Or that heart-breakingly perfect.

No, as far as Jenny Humphrey was concerned Nate Archibald wasn't even that great a catch.

Hardly a catch at all.

Vanessa was welcome to him.

At least that was she kept telling herself.

~*~

Vanessa Abrams sat staring at her phone.

She thought her and Nate had finally worked everything out. She thought after the snowflake ball where he had chosen her that everything was good.

Great even.

Apparently not.

She knew he was concerned about Chuck.

But she wanted to be there for him.

Like she had wanted to be there for him during the rough patch with his family.

He hadn't let her then and he wasn't letting her now.

She wanted to know why?

Wasn't she good enough for a starring role in the character of concerned girlfriend? Or did Blair Waldorf have that part all sewn up?

It certainly seemed that way.

She willed herself to just pick up the phone and dial his number.

It wasn't that hard.

He had chosen her. That had to count for something.

But Vanessa couldn't bring her self to do it.

Instead she sat there staring at her phone and wondering what Nate was doing that very minute.

~*~

Nathaniel Archibald was turning into Chuck Bass.

He was sitting in Victrola, drinking scotch and had a scantly dressed girl on either side of him.

It reminded him so much of Chuck.

His best friend who had left without saying a word.

Who had left Nate alone.

Just like everyone else.

Serena was off jet setting with arty boy.

Blair was… not coping very well and so wasn't great company. She was too wrapped up in her pain.

And that was about it for people Nate could count on.

For awhile he had had Dan but then he screwed that friendship up over Jenny.

So not worth it.

And then there was Vanessa.

But she wouldn't understand.

And he didn't want her to see him like this.

He promised himself he would ring her when he was feeling better.

Till then he was escaping.

Running away.

Like he always did.

He watched detachedly as the girls danced onstage, making eyes at him.

He absentmindedly decided which ones would be coming home with him.

That blonde one over then.

And the red headed one.

And the one with the jet black hair.

A nice variety.

Nate Archibald certainly was turning into Chuck.

He tossed the remains of the amber liquid in his glass down his throat.

It burned slightly. But Nate enjoyed that. It meant he was still slightly himself.

It meant he could still feel something.

As he stumbled his way out of the club he made a promise to himself.

Tomorrow he would fight his way through all his problems.

Tomorrow he would be strong.

Tomorrow he would become Nate Archibald again.

~*~

Blair Waldorf had lost her will to fight.

How strange.

Normally Blair would be the first to start elaborate plots and schemes. It was how she kept her army of minions in check and her spot at the top of the UES food chain.

She didn't do it alone. She had Serena and Nate and …Chuck.

That Basstard.

That Motherchucker.

That boy she hated and loved and missed and needed and despised.

Too many emotions to comprehend.

So Blair didn't even bother trying.

Normally if someone had hurt her so badly she would have already destroyed them.

But she couldn't destroy Chuck.

Instead she just lay on her bed watching Breakfast at Tiffany's and clutching the necklace he had given her.

Its sharp edges stuck into her skin but she didn't care anymore.

It was all so pointless. She missed him so much and there was nothing she could do. No amount of scheming would bring Chuck Bass back to her.

Because he didn't want to come back to her.

But she didn't feel that pain.

Not yet anyway. For the moment that pain was locked tightly in a little box in her heart. It meant she could function somewhat normally.

Enough to not completely freak out Dorota.

Sweet Dorota who, no matter how hard she tried, would never be able to fix the hole in Blair's heart.

No one would.

Except him.

And if she was completely honest with herself she wasn't too happy with the odds of that happening.

So instead of trying to fix the hole she filled.

Filled it with food.

Blair Waldorf gorged herself, piled in the foods she always wanted but never could have.

And then she looked in the mirror and realized becoming fat would never win back Chuck Bass.

The boy who she really, truly, with all that was left of her broken heart, loved.

~*~

Chuck Bass didn't need drugs anymore.

His own body provided the escape he craved.

Who needed weed when your own anguish numbed everything?

It was cheaper.

Not that that mattered to Chuck Bass.

No.

Money didn't matter to Chuck anymore.

Nor did girls or scotch or partying or limos or plotting.

All the things the old Chuck lived for.

The old Chuck was gone.

He had died, buried alongside his father.

It was sad really.

He hardly felt like himself.

He hardly felt human. Some people might say Chuck Bass was never human. But he knew better.

Because if Chuck Bass wasn't human he wouldn't of ever loved Blair Waldorf.

Blair.

His own personal kryptonite. But unlike Superman he was addicted to Blair. Superman was never drawn to the one thing that could kill him, the one chink in his armor.

Blair Waldorf was more potent then any drug.

And Chuck had had his last hit.

It all seemed like so long ago. Of course he remembered vividly that last night in Blair's arms. It only served as a reminder of why he loved her like he had never loved a person. And why he would never be good enough for her.

Everything after that night was unimportant.

He told himself that that night was unimportant.

He told himself Blair Waldorf was unimportant.

He told himself it wasn't love, it was never love and it wouldn't ever be love.

He was Chuck freaking Bass.

At least that was what he told himself.

He told himself that as he lay in his hotel rooming, staring at the revolving fan.

He considered ordering room service but decided against it.

No point really.

Maybe he would starve himself to death.

Maybe not.

A gun would be more dramatic.

More Chuck Bass.

Or an overdose.

People knew his habits. His old habits anyway.

It would seem pretty believable.

All these thoughts floated idly across his blanked out mind.

Pointless little thoughts that he never took seriously.

Just another way to occupy his time.

Another way to stop his mind from drifting back to Blair.

The girl he definitely did not love.

**Stage Two:**

**Aaron Rose sat staring at the laptop screen.**

**Serena Van Der Woodsen had locked herself in her, well their, suite.**

**Dan Humphrey slammed down the book.**

**Jenny Humphrey pressed**** send.**

**Vanessa Abrams threw the final dart.**

**Nathaniel Archibald woke up to find a girl tangled up in sheets anymore.**

**Blair Waldorf purged herself.**

**Chuck Bass needed drugs right now.**

**I know that Blair's POV was quite similar to my one-shot Tragic but that just because how I imagine her coping with everything. Also I know it was a bit slow this chapter but things will start to get more interesting next time as the stories start to come together. And there will be dialogue too. That is if there's enough interest. If not I may just leave it as a one-shot. **

**So anyway. Reviews make my day. **


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